I want this piece to really inspire women to accept who they are, love who they are and DISCOVER who they are. We often want people to know how to love us, how to touch us, when we haven’t figured those things out for ourselves. Just know that rather you are Black, White, Asian, Puerto Rican, short, tall, a little extra weight, you are beautiful, and you have PURPOSE!!
I hate walking past my mirror. Realization hits that I’m a glutton for punishment. I placed my full-length mirror right in the walk that connects my bathroom to the bedroom. I usually walk fast, past the mirror without looking, especially when I’m naked. This time I stop. I’m just getting out of the shower and I grab my favorite oversized towel. Thick cotton with two pool blue stripes down the sides. The towel is just to cover my body from my own eyes seeing that I like to air dry. The water is still glistening on my skin. I start to think about the few sexual encounters I’ve had. Nothing special or exciting. No earth shattering orgasms. And the two I’ve been with told me I needed more experience. Truth is, I don’t know my own body. I’ve never taken time to learn what I like. I figure today should be the day.
When I’m in the shower I always play sexy instrumentals. The soft music puts me in a trans and I have the best showers ever! I clear my mind and really meditate. I hear the soft beat rise and it’s having an effect on me. I decide, as I’m standing in the mirror, to remove the towel and really look at ME.
I’ve never thought of myself as having sex appeal. I’m a big girl and I’m usually hiding my body as much as possible. Today, however, there’s something different. This smooth cocoa brown skin has me intrigued. I completely drop the towel and step back to get a good look. Hmmm actually not too bad.
I AM BEAUTIFUL. My breast are not big at all. I’m only a C cup but they look like nice brown mounds sitting up pretty. Yep, I’ll grab my coconut oil and give myself a rub down while I stand here in this mirror and become acquainted with myself and admire the true blessing that I am. I take by breast into my hands. The oil slides over my skin and sends shivers down my spine as I take my nipples between my fingers. The deep bass coming from my Bluetooth speaker is starting to cause a throbbing sensation between my legs. This is the first time I have ever touched myself like this and I didn’t know I could make myself feel so good with just one touch.
I AM A GODDESS. Today is the day I will stop referring to myself as fat. So what I have some imperfections. I smile as I continue to enjoy this feeling that I’m giving myself. My fingers are lightly squeezing my left nipple as I continue down my stomach with my free hand. There’s no stopping now. Without realizing it I’m increasing the pressure on my nipples as my hand gets close to the opening of my vulva. I let the music take over as I slide one finger down. If my body is already shivering, what will happen once I touch down there? I guess I’m about to find out. Mmmm, wow I’m so wet. I DID THIS? This is happening from my touch. Feeling my own wetness is making me want this more and more. I’m moaning now and can barely stand still. My eyes are closed tight as my fingers are sliding up and down my wet pearl. This is amazing. My hand goes from my nipples to my mouth and I began sucking my own fingers.
I AM INVINCIBLE. I force myself to open my eyes. I need to witness this completely and understand who I really am. I take my fingers from my mouth and use them to part my lower lips, never removing my eyes from the mirror. Not removing my fingers from my clit. I push my other finger inside. Ahhh yes. The beat speeds up and so do my fingers. I am so wet.
I am MAGIC. My body is shivering more and more. I can’t take it any longer. My knees are starting to buckle, I can’t control these sounds coming from my mouth. I fall to the floor, but my hands never leave my body. Watching myself in the mirror is giving me a completely different feeling. I am giving myself a gift that no one else has been able to give me. The gift of love, ecstasy, and ORGASM. This is what it feels like, wow. From this day on I promise to love myself, accept myself and not be ashamed of who I am and what I want.